I Tried. So Hard.


Surah Al-Baqarah verse 216: "It may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and it may be you love a thing although it is bad for you. Allah knows and you know not."

indeed..Allah knows everything..
Allah knows from the very beginning..from the very end..
deep inside..deep down..
yes, we never know what have been good for us..
for us humans are like a toddler..
crying and hoping for things..that will harm us..

so i stop crying..
so i stop begging..
i stop dying..
but i continued hoping to Him only..
i put all my effort in asking from Him..
 day to night..to day again..
i never lose faith..
for i know..
asking from a human being leads me to nothing..
but asking from Allah is everything..
having faith in Him was the most precious thing of all..


So people.
believe in Allah.
believe in His wills.
believe in His power.
for if He said yes, not even a single human being or anything that exist..
could say no.

Think Please.

Oh my God yes. Please think people. Don't just dump them and leave. 

Allah Mengetahui Segalanya.


hey people..
around the world..
today i'm feeling so sad..hehe..
sejuknya pagi ni..
angin mencengkam jiwa raga..
sangat sejuk..
i am just sitting here..browsing through my laptop..
then tiba tiba ternampak iklan fair n lovely..
yang sweet sweet tu pulak kat tv..
and i was like, :) ..

so i keep on browsing..
i know i just shouldn't do this..bukak bukak profile ni..
i want to tell you a tale..
 another sad princess tale..
a tale from her heart..
words from her mind..phrase from the love that she had.. :)

sometimes i just don't know what to do..
don't know what to think..
don't know what to say..
not even how to react..
everything about him are just there to be miss..
to be heard echoing in my heart..
to be remembered everyday in my mind..

i never know what is the problem..
i'll never know what was the issue since back then,,
what i know now is everything's been hurting me..
from outside to the inside..
cutting deep down into my soul..
where he seems to be fine..

i would try to step back away from you..
i tried to bring myself away..
i tried to run afar..where nobody would know me..
but at the end it's only you that i see..
it's only your voice that i hear everyday through my tears..
it's your breath that i breath every second through my day..

i know i'm not a good girl..
i don't deserve a good guy either..
but for Allah sake, i'm trying..
i'm trying to be better..
for the good of everyone..
for my future..
and believe me.
it's not a better guy that i deserve..cause i'm nobody..
i don't deserve another guy..
i just deserve you..a better you..

i want you to be in my future..
i want you to lead me through the way..
i want you to be the imam in my solah one day..
i want you to be my company in jannah, if God wills.
i want you..just you.

through my years handling you..
facing you..
being besides you..
everything about you are beautiful..
a gift from Allah..
to make you different from any other people..
cause please remember something from me..

Allah said :

i love you, with all my heart.

but i'm sorry..
if there isn't any tomorrow or me to be beside you..
i'm sorry.

My Sunday.


lama dah tak update blog..
so here i am, sitting here in the room, doing nothing...
at home..ponteng kelas seminggu.. :D
semalam balik..
naik train ETS, chu chu chu..
then naik komuter sampai seremban..
then i have to wait for my dad for almost 2 hours, ya Allah..
jam punya pasal okay.
such a hectic day,
i went out of my room at 8.30 a.m approximately..
and reach my other room(haha) at almost 11 at night. 

so yesterday i got my modern music assessment,
playing that little trumpet..
such a naughty trumpet,
ever since before it never did actually work.
tiba tiba time assessment tu dia berfungsi pulak. GEDIK.
but alhamdulillah, even though bunyi dia tak sesedap mana.
tapi at least berbunyi jugak lah, hahaha..

so in the assessment room i was like, ya allah ya Allah..
muka bukan main tenang dan bahagia,
siap jalan jalan keliling depan orang lagi.
but alhamdulillah, i passed it i guess.
at least lecturer tu cakap lah yang kitorang tak fail.
so redha jelah hahaha......

that guy..errr..nama dia...
apa eh..
i think nama dia nasrullah.
rasanya lah..haha..tak ingat sebab budak ni diam sangat..
setiap minggu duduk sebelah pun jarang cakap.
we are a "happy" trumpeters family..
ada sorang lagi tak datang, amal.
dia assesment lain group.
tu anak anak kami yang kecik..hahahahaha

so this is my assessment group..
the were so cute..
very cute..
they help me , cover my flaws,
sedikit sebanyak sumbang sumbang tu.. haha
so thanks a lot everyone.
i love you so much.
may us got A for our modern music, in syaa Allah.

to tell you the truth i'm not really in a well shape now..
sakit sikit..
tak berapa nak sihat..
and my emotion as well are in pain..
so pray for my health..
pray for my safety,
pray for my wellness, in syaa Allah..
when you pray for others, the Angels will pray the same for you.

Aching hearts :(
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